Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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