I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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