idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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