She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
