I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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