he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
