i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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