Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
