Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
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I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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