i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
