alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You took a bar mat shot.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
