Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
