Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
