if you like me you must not know who I am
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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