There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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