Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i don't like sucking hair
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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