you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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