Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My cat gives me a boner
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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