I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
