where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
