How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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