I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
