I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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