i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
