Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
