Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
