I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
