You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
