her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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