I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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