life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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