You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
