Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
