It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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