I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She bit a glass in half.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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