Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
