i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
