So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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