Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
