Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
