no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
