this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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