So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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