I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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