woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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