Where is the hickey?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
