I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize