I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
