This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is Oprah even human
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
