I hate your face
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
