even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
