Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
