and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
