i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
