he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
