White coat. Heels.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
