I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
