dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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