I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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